Saturday, November 10th, 2007
|
|
12:00 pm - Let me get that hand clap
|
Scene: Rebecca and I are in the front seats of her car and Shane and Phil are in the back seats. She is driving us to my car in the parking deck and I tell her to stop for my car and there are two black guys leaning against the car next to mine, but she doesn’t know which car I drive. She pulls up to the car, winds my window down, leans over me and says …..
(Back Story: I will randomly talk to people I don’t know and pretend to know them and become their long lost friend… Rebecca witnessed this last time we went out)
Rebecca: Hi baby
Chad: Haaaa we don’t know them
Rebecca (leaning over to me embarrassed): O SHIT!!!
Us: Haaaaaaaaaa
Chad: Haaaaaaa Its ok see you were making a big step in making random friends.... congratulations.
Moral of the Story: Pretend to know somebody new everyday…I do it~ Endorsement by Chad Johnson, GGTK- good guy to know
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Sunday, September 24th, 2006
|
|
4:19 pm - Blue Zone Pimping
|
Scene: I was sending people a picture of the wheelchair/handicap sign with a little note attached…….
maddenislife (12:17:23 PM): They see me rolling they hating...
Bustahm20 (12:17:38 PM): LOL, you know that’s messed up don’t you
maddenislife (12:18:04 PM): Haaaaaaaaa yea it is
maddenislife (12:18:10 PM): But you laughed so your worst than me
maddenislife (12:18:12 PM): Right?
Bustahm20 (12:18:24 PM): No, not right
Bustahm20 (12:19:18 PM): Because I know you laughed a lot harder than I did when you first saw it, so much so that you had to share, and thus induce more laughter, you are clearly in the wrong, I just fell victim to your evil plot…..
maddenislife (12:19:48 PM): haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: SO IM THE DEVIL??????? YA GOT ME NOW!!!!!!!!~ Ghetto Preacher
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:16 pm - Young Waffle
|
Scene: Kelvin, Shayaa and I were sitting in Waffle House and this girl was sitting behind us
Shayaa: Damn man I wonder how old that bitch is
Us: Shit man I don’t know...
Waitress: Well she's too young for you to be looking at
Us: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: If your reading this that means your old…… please I.D.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:15 pm - Cowboys Packers
|
Scene: Conversation last spring between Eric and I talking football and the possible departure of Brett Farve from the Packers
elawhor (12:30:11 AM): I don't want to see him go but it may be for the betterment of the team
maddenislife (12:43:58 AM): You think he go to another team
elawhor (12:44:12 AM): nah, he'll just retire
maddenislife (12:44:47 AM): Your blinded by love
maddenislife (12:44:53 AM): love for Brett Farve
elawhor (12:44:53 AM): Possibly
maddenislife (12:44:54 AM): haaa
elawhor (12:45:19 AM): hold on negro I went to the store for your ass when Emmitt put on the red jersey had to get your bitch ass some tissues
elawhor (12:46:05 AM): then you got mad a Jerry Jones for accepting the "gifts" ( or as I like to call it slave payments) from when he broke the record
maddenislife (12:47:02 AM): haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nigga you the one every time I say packers or Brett Farve your ass bust the incredible hulk with your pants and get all tight about to rip
elawhor (12:48:03 AM): That maybe true, but the last time I heard the name cowboys or Jerry Jones in your room you dropped to your knees and pulled out the whip cream, C*** sucking hoe
maddenislife (12:48:56 AM): haaaaaaaaaa you watch “There’s Something About Mary” to get off and not because of Cameron Diaz but for the 4 minutes Brett Farve is on there
elawhor (12:49:54 AM): Kid you watch “Brokeback Mountain” and lay in the bed with the lights off just because they mention the word COWBOYS
maddenislife (12:50:46 AM): You watch the food network not because your hungry but you just love it when they talk about the people in the plant called
PACKERS
maddenislife (12:51:27 AM): Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa damn my packer one isn’t anywhere near as good as that cowboys shit
elawhor (12:51:41 AM): hahaha, you an ass, lol
Moral of the Story: He got me
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
4:13 pm - Mo Tea Sir?
|
Scene: I’m talking to Tory online about him and life and him basically being Lindsay’s sugar daddy in California
maddenislife (2:26:36 AM): damn nigga you always seemed the type to get a sugar momma but you the sugar daddy
and you don’t hae that much sugar
nigga got like sugar substitute
so ole blue bag shit
maddenislife (2:26:42 AM): Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
PtG5000 (2:26:59 AM): LOL...Nigga say I’m Sweet n Low
maddenislife (2:27:29 AM): Haaaaaaa
PtG5000 (2:28:12 AM): Hi...true shit...How about I went to Ryans in Greenville last summer... and i had a black waitress...
I got sweet tea with my drink...so THIS chick comes to my table, starts talking and realizes I got tea and says..
"O, Im going to hook you up darling these folks don’t know how to make no tea. They have it bitter I’m going get you some of MY tea. I’m a waitress but I know how people supposed to have tea"
How bout THIS ho
Went into the office...brought out her SECRET pitcher of sweet tea and started pouring it on the down low
Bug shit was how she was acting
maddenislife (2:31:18 AM): haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
PtG5000 (2:31:55 AM): She was acting like that nigga in “Don’t Be A Menace” when he just got out of jail and he told his boys to pass the knife to him at the cookout
maddenislife (2:32:55 AM): Haaaaaaaaaaa you dumb
PtG5000 (2:33:28 AM): I ain’t going to front, I was kind of scared to drink it because this ho came out the woodworks with the pitcher
maddenislife (2:34:17 AM): Haaaaaaaaaaaa trying to take her some young meat to the house
PtG5000 (2:34:21 AM): I think she put that date rape drug in it...she was going to rape me then say I raped her...nigga would’ve been in court for rape like Mike Tyson
maddenislife (2:35:57 AM): haaaaaaaaaa
bye ass
Moral of the Story: That’s why you cant talk to people from Camden on a regular basis
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:12 pm - Backfire
|
Scene: Eric brings me some food at the Smith Hall desk and there are Fire trucks and ambulances on the other side of the horseshoe
Chad: Good looking
Eric: No problem
Chad: Did you investigate what’s going on over there?
Eric: Yea I think somebody got shot
Chad: So that’s why they got the fire trucks over there?
Eric: Yep, firearms
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tru
Moral of the Story: That’s how most of our conversations go, got to always be on your toes
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:11 pm - P.H.D.
|
Scene: My dad, my brothers and I are riding home from dinner and we are talking about the price of higher learning…
Dad: You’re not tired of school yet?
Byron: It’s nothing man
Daddy: You should be and Byron you don’t need no damn P.H.D you need to be at home spending time with your wife
Byron: Daddy I spend a lot of time with my wife as you can see she’s pregnant
My brothers and I: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My dad: (very pissed and mumbling as he’s driving over my brother’s smart ass comment because we all always give him smart ass remarks)
Moral of the Story: We not scared of his old ass no more and haven’t been for going on 8-16 years
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:09 pm - Love and Marriage
|
Scene: This is an incident stemming from this away message of mine that lead to a conversation of two Camden-ites Kerri and Eric
Sonny: And dad don’t worry about me making money I’m in love with a beautiful women who makes plenty of it she can be my....sugar mama
That’s for my fiancé ;-)
And I know what she’s going to say
"Chad I don’t make no damn money"
Yea that’s true but girl you got earning potential:-P
babygurlcoop (9:58:02 PM): Is Chad engaged?
elawhor (9:59:02 PM): Chad who
babygurlcoop (9:59:09 PM): Chad Johnson
elawhor (10:01:31 PM): Yea he is
babygurlcoop (10:02:25 PM): Wow
babygurlcoop (10:02:37 PM): To who...she go to Clemson?
elawhor (10:02:57 PM): Nah, Tennessee, here name is Youre Naive
elawhor (10:03:06 PM): Native American chick
babygurlcoop (10:03:35 PM): Cool
babygurlcoop (10:03:38 PM): How did he meet her
babygurlcoop (10:03:47 PM): Wow...I really haven't talked to Chad in FOREVER!
babygurlcoop (10:03:59 PM): How did he meet Youre Naive
elawhor (10:05:01 PM): On this mountain weekend with his family in Wilmington, NC, told me they were already looking at a date, Feb 29th, 2007
babygurlcoop (10:05:18 PM): Cool
babygurlcoop (10:05:33 PM): Ok...so Chad is not the one I thought would graduate and be engaged
elawhor (10:06:30 PM): Yea Youre Naive, is pretty cool, I thought you met her, she went to Atlanta A&T
babygurlcoop (10:07:15 PM): Umm I don’t think I did
elawhor (10:07:31 PM): Kerri are you serious, read her name out loud
babygurlcoop (10:07:39 PM): shut up
babygurlcoop (10:07:43 PM): you're such a punk!
elawhor (10:09:07 PM): not sure if you know where Wilmington, NC is but I’m sure its a beach city with no mountains, and Atlanta A&T is a fictional school from the movie Drumline, and February only has 28 days on non leap years
babygurlcoop (10:09:40 PM): I wasn't paying attention
babygurlcoop (10:09:47 PM): I was just like....oh ok that's nice
babygurlcoop (10:09:55 PM): I was stuck on Chad being engaged
elawhor (10:10:10 PM): That was funny
elawhor (10:10:15 PM): OHHHHHHHHHH THAT WAS FUNNY
babygurlcoop (10:10:36 PM): No it wasn’t
babygurlcoop (10:10:42 PM): We are not friends anymore!!
Moral of the Story: Eric bug as hell and that’s my boy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:08 pm - Just do it
|
Scene: I’m at the volleyball game with the guys and Meg Steiner gets a serious kill
Kelvin: Man I love her I’m going to buy her jersey
Shayaa: But PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t buy the shorts
Everybody: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: Some things should just be left to women
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:08 pm - European Instincts
|
Scene: I answer the phone to my brother’s yelling and laughing at me due to something I told them the day before…..
Video Reference: Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo and Basic instinct
Disclaimer: I don’t care if you don’t find this one funny but it was funny as hell to me
Chad (answering the phone sleepily): sup
Byron and Grump(on speakerphone): Boy you sound sleepy you ok?
That girl didn’t stick an ice pick in your ass last night did she?
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa naw I’m good Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Chad: It really isn’t what you expect there just ordinary people
Byron and Grump: Well what time you get home from your "ordinary evening?"
Chad: 4
Byron and Grump: Damn that sound Super extraordinary you sure Sharon stone didn’t ice pick your ass?
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Byron and Grump: Got off at what time......?
Chad: Midnight
Byron and Grump: GOT DAMN BOY I STOOD DOWN!!!!!!!!! how long you been part of the union?
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: Once again proving that I’m the 4th funniest person in my family because that was number 2 and 3 in action…..
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
4:07 pm - Candyman
|
Scene: A few people are watching the Director of Orientation (Bert) steal candy out of a co-workers bag
Chad: How you going to just take that girl candy?
Bert: Because I’m the boss
Chad: Haaaaa you know that’s how a lot of sexual harassment suits start off that way
Everybody: Haaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: Stolen fruit tastes the sweetest ~NFL commentator
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
|
|
8:02 pm - Mountain
|
Scene: I'm downtown with all of C-Town (white edition) and their girlfriends and an Honorary C-Town member Bottle Chris for his farewell get together before he goes to Wyoming for job training for a month........
B-Ham: Man you be careful you going to be in those mountains
Chris: Yea i know man
Wilson: He going to come back all different watch
Chris: No I'm not man
Paige (his girlfriend): Yea hes about to go on
Chris's "Brokeback Adventure"
Everybody: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: I wish I knew how to quit you
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
8:02 pm - Redfearn's Got Ya!!!!!!
|
Scene: Casey and Shane are in the Ordination office and hes new to Clemson and he is telling her about him being sick and going to Redfearn Medical Center for the first time.......
Casey: What did Redfearn say was wrong?
Shane: They said I had bronchitis
Casey: Well that's good they usually say you have an STD because I remember I went their with a ear infection and they asked me who my last sexual partner was and I'm like.........RELEVANCE?
They didn't stick it in my ear
Everybody: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Casey: Welcome to Clemson
Moral of the Story: Redfearn will get you fucked up and tell you your pregnant
current mood:  contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
8:01 pm - Life Lessons
|
Scene: I'm talking to Eric online about life......
Chad: Well sometimes I feel like its not ok for me to be sad and that I'm always supposed to be happy and make people laugh
Eric: Well Chad I feel the same way sometimes too, but at the same time are we not people?
Do we not sin?
Do we not bleed?
Do we not partake in the pleasures of the flesh from time to time?
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i guess you got a point there
Moral of the Story: My Brothers and Big E will never steer you wrong
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
8:01 pm - Order of the Serpentine
|
Scene: I'm at John's lake house for a party and I'm having a conversation with a gorgeous blonde with a low cut top who is drunk off her ass and this is about 10 minutes into the conversation
Chad: Haaaaaaa yea that's right
Girl: Yea so you want to hook up
Chad: Naw I'm good maybe some other time
Girl: Why not i'll suck your dick
Chad: Naw I'm fine thanks anyway though
Girl: You gay?
Chad: Naw I'm not gay
Girl: O so you think I'm ugly?
Chad: No your really pretty
Girl: O so you just don't like white girls?
Chad: Naw its just that you got some throw up dripping down between your breasts their
I point it out to her and she looks down
Girl: O yea that... ok so you know I can wash that off guys usually don't care
At that point i slowly backed away and got another beer
Moral of the Story: Freak I'm not most guys
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
8:00 pm - Jessica's World
|
Scene: I'm talking to Jessica about random stuff
PeAcHy12785 (8:35:56 PM): I have a test next week that I'm studying for
chad1wick (8:36:08 PM): Tru is it going to be hard?
chad1wick (8:36:09 PM): Kinda hard
PeAcHy12785 (8:36:28 PM): Well its over a lot of stuff
PeAcHy12785 (8:36:32 PM): Its for geography
chad1wick (8:37:19 PM): Ahhhhhh yea the world is pretty damn big
I could only imagine
PeAcHy12785 (8:37:26 PM): lol
Moral of the Story: You gotta know your shit
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
|
|
7:59 pm - Six Four
|
Scene: A lot of people are playing poker and random conversations ensues.....
Chris: Its bad when you open your test and the second question is worth 48pts and your just like "FUCK!!! I better not fuck this up
Andy: Shit when I see something like that I think "That's a lot of partial credit I can get"
Everybody: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: Glass can be half full or half empty, its all in the eye of the beholder
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
7:59 pm - Split the Pot
|
Scene: We are playing poker and its about 12 guys and 1 girl and the girl has a really soft voice......and the girl raises and the guy folds
Wilson: Damn what did you have?
Ashley: You got to pay to see
Chad: Damn girl you sound like a stripper
Everybody: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: Money can't buy love......unless you at a strip club
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
7:58 pm - Share
|
Scene: I'm at the desk and Jasmine stops by to talk to me after her meeting....
Jasmine: Yea so I had like 5 slices of pizza at the meeting
Chad: Why didn't you bring some back for us?
Jasmine: Well they only had 2 boxes and the guys ate damn near all of it
Chad: Well if you had 5 slices from 2 boxes don't that mean you had most of it?
Jasmine: FINE THEN OK I DID DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: The truth shall set you free
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
7:57 pm - Joe Blow
|
Scene: I'm in the library doing a project with Matt Roberts and I start staring at him because he looks like a guy off the T.V. show Family Guy......
Matt: What?
Chad :You look like dude in the wheelchair
He gives me a funny look
Chad: O shit somebody else done told you that before???
Matt: No, I'm wondering WHAT THE FUCK you talking about
Chad: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Moral of the Story: I'm really random and not everybody knows that so my bad.....
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
maddenislife's journal